Every time I went into the kitchen to check on the broth for tonight’s soup, I fought the urge to make microwave popcorn or grab a 70% cocoa square; after all, those are healthy snacks, right (except for the toxic oils and chemicals in microwave popcorn)? But I wasn’t hungry. I decided I could have an apple, but I didn’t want an apple. Which means I wasn’t really hungry, so food could not fix it. I stuck to my goal of not overeating to try to fix things, like exhaustion and stress, that food cannot ultimately fix.
Today I felt better when awake, but staying awake was a battle. I’m going to assume that’s a sign the episode is ending.
Eat: I baked two eggs topped with green onion and sweet red pepper in potato skins, then ate these with the last of the guacamole and a sliced cinnamon-sprinkled pear. I baked potatoes earlier in the week, used some as a side dish, then hollowed out the rest to use the flesh in the clam chowder, reserving the skins for baking eggs or potato nachos. I try to plan ahead to avoid waste.
For lunch I finished the clam chowder with an orange.
For dinner I made wonton soup with lots of veggies. I made the soup base and added veggies that I’d lightly steamed in the microwave to mine so Belle could avoid them. It worked.
Move: 20 minutes on the recumbent bike. I’m so proud I did this despite being so tired.
Focus and motivate: Read 6 articles and commented on others’ success.
Heal: EFT at morning and bedtime. Also, I think consistently eating and moving in a way I enjoy, that also aligns with my health goals, rather than vacillating between restrictive dieting and punishing overeating, is the best way to prove I am able to keep myself safe. Feeling safe is critical for me to heal and give up my fat armor.