“The goodness of God is the highest prayer, and it comes down to the lowest part of our need.” – Julian of Norwich
I cooked! I’ve been singing (Belle didn’t miss that) and planning Easter. I feel this afternoon like I’ve been very sick with the flu or a bad migraine, and today I’m much better, and loving how wonderful it feels to be well.
Dinner was rotisserie chicken, roasted vegetables over spring mix and mustardy balsamic vinaigrette, and home-made stuffing. Belle requested the stuffing.
Breakfast was a whole wheat tortilla, tablespoon of peanut butter, and banana. Lunch was about 3/4 cup of cottage cheese and one cup of canned pineapple.
I’m coming back out of the depressive episode. My brain is working better and faster today. Yesterday I could barely type to log my meals, and I had no patience to read articles at sparkpeople, expecting to find nothing but vacuously cheerful fluff. Even playing music didn’t help – every song was too loud or poisoned with dark memories. I fight depression as hard as I can; I am an optimist and work hard to maintain a good attitude, but there is no cheering myself out of depression on the worst days, when my brain simply doesn’t work. I just have to rough it out and work to minimize the impact on Belle.
We’ve been eating convenience foods on paper plates with plastic utensils, but I kept it as healthy as possible.
Thank God for rotisserie chicken and bagged salad, yogurt, cottage cheese, and fruit! Belle told me this morning she is going to die from chicken poisoning. “Can’t a person eat too much chicken, Mama?” she demanded.
I’ve prayed a lot. I believe it helps. Last night I started reading a book written over 600 years ago by a Christian mystic named Julian of Norwich. It is fascinating and comforting.